i keep on wondering why... for the past few days... when i watch a story... it keeps on telling me that something in that story reminds me of something but i don't know what it was or what it is... but everytime... everytime i look at the girls, i feels like both of them are me in a sense and i can't stop crying for no reason... my tears keep on rolling down these cheeks and i don't know how to stop it...
the princess : she just wanted some one to comfort her in her dusky days and nights that she always feels at lost and there's no one to try to understand how she is and who she is and the way to express her feelings is by crying - a crying baby.... in me somehow i wanted the same things... i wanted someone just to hold me tight and say that im okay... i'll be okay... and nothing can harm me in one sense but there's no one to tell me those words that i wanted to hear and there's no one for me to hold me tight and tell me the words that i longed to hear....
the sister : she is just someone who feels that she has to pay all the debt to the person who had helped her so much and she wouldn't want to build a bridge to link her heart and the person's heart so that it wouldn't be painful for her when the time comes and she had to just leave the person without any feelings of guilty. she fought with herself, hard enough to make her suffer on her own and she doesn't seem to want anyone to get to know her.... and somehow, i've been doing the same thing... not letting anyone to know me better so that it would be easier for me when i think that i shouldn't be there anymore... i've lock my heart inside out so that not even a sigle person could rest there and try to unfold the secret of me... of who i am... and what i made of...
both the character in the story reminded me of myself and how i shouldn't suppose to act those ways... i wanted someone to just hold me tight in their arms and tell me that i would be okay but somehow i avoided those feelings but comforting myself and lock myself away from those who cares about me...
what should i be doing now... i don't know.. but it would be nice if i had someone to hug me and say that its ok... that i would be ok... and i would be fine for now... but i wouldn't dare to do such things so i hold myself back from doing so and just let my mind think on her own that i would be okay.. but its not comforting me enough... so... i just don't know how to get back on my sense and stop thinking about these things anymore... i just want to feel secure in my own way again but somehow i don't know how...
No comments:
Post a Comment